USELESS MKHWENYANA Part 1: The Unintended consequences of commodifying black romance.

The largest trend around the country that is for both men and women in proximity wealth to emphatically state on social media that relationships that have no financial incentive for women can’t be real and that the true test of a relationship must come with baecation pictures on Facebook or Instagram. This leaves room for potential for the physical abuse but in most instances it takes on the nefarious and often overlooked financial abuse of women, in a country where poverty is the norm to most people and families.

The double curse of poverty.

We recently saw the scandal involving ANC ministers Gwede Mantashe, Tito Mboweni and a young woman wherein the said ministers were caught in a love triangle with this young woman which ended in a literal dick measuring contest between two old men trying to confirm whatever sexual virility they assume they have in their twilight years.

Disgusting as all that might be no one really spoke about the double death suffered by this young woman and many like her, she is a victim of poverty who is forced to sleep with a minerals and energy minister that refuses to grant mining rights to the community of Qolobeni and a minister of finance who is an open critic of the social grant system, a system by the way that keeps the majority of poor people in this country from starving to death he often jokes how the system is not needed and at times for the LOL’s raises the grant by R10.

So what if these ministers are doing these things not for some great political or fiscal expediency, what if they are doing these things to keep black women in particular in a perpetual state of poverty increasing the undue access it allows them to have to them because of the pressure society exerts on them? Honestly, wars have been waged for less and the disgusting track record of members of the ruling party and young women speaks for itself.

The South African Incel the least analysed threat to women

Because of social media (again) we have become aware of the incel phenomenon which by-in-large has manifested in Western countries so the assumption is that the incel community does not exist in South Africa.

First what is an incel? The Incel community is a community of men who claim to be involuntarily celibate, their claim is that there are two types of men “Alphas” and “Betas” their belief is that women “hate” them because they are Betas and that if you are not an Alpha you will be stuck in a rut of no sex and thus this group has a vicious mean streak when it comes to women.

My hypothesis is that the South African incel community is more diverse than it is western countries the incels in South Africa are some of the beneficiaries of this social media bullying of women. In my opinion Sandile Mantsoe and Uyinene Mrwetyana’s killer are both incels and pose unique and specific threats to women all brought about by their financial standing and the benefits they believe should be attached to that financial well-being.

Sandile Mantsoe was characterized in his case as a young man who has always been shy and did not interact well with women he only started conversing and engaging in meaningful relationships with women only after he got money. He is the classic example of what the Incels describe as a Beta and his disdain for women led to the tragic death of Karabo Mokoena in my opinion Sandile thought Karabo owed him certain things both physically and emotionally because he had money and that he assumed he was some sort of net benefit in her life.

Uyinene Mrwetyana’s killer was also a classic incel who became increasingly brazen with victimizing females when his financial status began to be better, he bought into the narrative that having money puts an obligation on women to love him and that entitles you to sex with that woman, it fits why he felt that a beautiful young woman owed him sex or at the very least her number when she visits his place of employment, he thought by virtue of being employed and saying “hello”, he deserved to be in her life as more than just a postal employee, this was the point of inception for her death the way society reinforced a toxic idea in an incels murderous and twisted mind.

Financial pressure cooker

Many would dismiss their role in this poverty shaming scheme as “jokes on social media” but it is irresponsible to even make those kinds of jokes we know all too well, the real world implications of badly timed jokes, moreover we know the real world results of poverty and the pressure it puts on people who are under its terrible yoke. Many people in this country have contemplated suicide because of their financial status, adding extra pressure to people who are already under extreme duress does not help the situation in any way.

The expectation of men to be the never complaining ATM because they are offered sex is an idea deeply rooted in patriarchy and by spreading it you are reinforcing these patriarchal states of being that inevitably lead to the abuse of women because it assumes an ownership of a woman’s sexuality, any commodification of sex would lead to an assumption of ownership by the person who assumes they are paying for this commodity.

The mental health of males in this case must be mentioned because in these cases the financial incentive is directly linked to their societal and self-worth the results of these transactions lead to two almost inevitable outcomes, suicide or some other means of regaining some semblance of value which almost always manifests in gaining that sense of worth through some sort of violent means whether it be by abusing a spouse, abusing a child, physical altercations with other men or trying to become economically viable through violent means.

The poverty stricken Mkhwenyana is useless

We can speak about the harms of putting undue financial pressure on men ‘till the cows come home, but essentially in a country of vast inequality and unemployment, poor people are the majority and rubbing that majorities face in the fact that they are poor as if they don’t know that they are is deeply immoral and unjust, coupled with the fact that this is a country marred by intolerable violence we cannot be seen to be adding to the abuse of both women and the poor.

Umkhwenyana will always be useless and the often unchallenged destruction of the black family unit has evolved a new malignant tumor that drains the lifeblood from all corners of black livelihood creating even more broken black souls, in a time where there should be a consolidation of black pride. Hurt people, hurt people black people are stuck in a cycle of pain and abuse it is time that we attempt to stop the pain transfer. 

Signed 
Briggar